Stuart Kettlewell told Sky Sports News that leaving his role as Motherwell manager was one of the toughest decisions of his professional career.
Scottish football was left stunned when Kettlewell departed Motherwell last month, blaming personal abuse he was receiving and the impact it was having on his family.
Kettlewell, who has since been replaced by former Austria Vienna boss Michael Wimmer, exited with Motherwell fifth in the Scottish Premiership – and just a month shy of what would have been his two-year anniversary in the Fir Park hotseat.
“It was not an easy decision. I can safely say it’s one of the toughest, if not the toughest, decisions I’ve ever had in my professional career,” he told Sky Sports News.
“I didn’t take it lightly. I didn’t do it for effect. I did it because I felt that it was the correct decision at that moment in time for myself and for my family.
“There were a number of different things [that contributed towards my decision]. Of course, the vast majority of it centres around the gameday, the matchday [and] getting to the point where my wife has to take the children away from a game because you physically can’t sit there anymore.
“I think one of the things I need to clear up is that it was abuse directed at my family. That’s not true. Of course, it’s abuse directed directly to myself. I’ve said it before, it doesn’t matter whether it’s shouted at your wife or your children. Of course, that would be worse, but you have to understand the impact and the effect that that has on them to varying degrees.
“There were games where family members have had to move and leave even when we were winning games of football – I’d reference Aberdeen in January. There were games where my daughter had come independently herself with her boyfriend and they have to leave. She can’t listen to it anymore.
“As I say, with my wife and my children, getting to the point where you almost have to tell them not to come to the game any longer.”
Kettlewell: Impact of social media abuse was evident
Kettlewell continued: “I think one of the things that maybe comes to fruition is that I’m a guy that doesn’t deal with social media. I don’t go on social media. I don’t have any accounts. I never have done, probably never will do. People say, ‘well, you don’t see it’ – but you understand sometimes when you look in the faces of your kids and your wife and family members and friends. You know it’s there, you understand it’s there.
“But I think it’s safe to say that if I was a single guy and we weren’t invested in it as a family and bringing them along, then I can endure that. I can handle that. I can take it. I’ve had plenty of abuse along the way, as have most people in football. The booing and the jeering when people aren’t happy with a result or a performance, I get that. I completely get that.
“But I think for myself, it’s when you feel that even if it’s a minority, even for a period of time, when you feel that starts to cross the line, there’s one of a few things that can happen. That can grow. It can get even worse than potentially it is.
“It can affect people more. Do you [then] react as an individual? Because I’m somebody that has been embroiled in plenty of confrontation in my time as a player, a coach and a manager, that’s my personality, that’s kind of how I’ve always been.
“You try and curb that as much as you can, or you feel that you kind of have to make a decision. And that’s where I got to in the end.”
Abuse in football is ‘absolutely getting worse’
Kettlewell believes football and society has become more toxic in terms of abuse.
“I do believe it is a problem,” he said. “My decision was never to be a kind of pioneer, for people to give me a cuddle, and for people to feel sorry for me or my family.
“I can assure you that was never my intention. That was never where I was going with this decision. I do believe in speaking to so many people within football [and I have had] a lot of unbelievable contact from top-level managers, people that I really respect.
“And I think there is a general consensus, and I think one or two have spoken out about it, that it is absolutely getting worse.”
‘You don’t just keep kicking the can down the road’
Kettlewell felt a minority of supporters contributed to his departure rather than the Motherwell fanbase at large, insisting he has fond memories of the support he received from people across the football club.
“It wasn’t a decision that was labelled against the entire Motherwell support, if you like, and it’s never an entire support. It’s never that,” he said.
“Sometimes it can be that real small minority where sometimes the noise can be louder and the purpose of what they’re saying can have more of an effect, essentially.
“I’ve had a lot of real, real good support in my two years at Motherwell, a lot of good support. And subsequently, I’ve had some real good support, an outpouring from many individuals, many groups.
“There was something that was sent to me by the kit man at Motherwell, who I respect so much, 25 years in the job and he sent me a message and a picture of a banner that had been put up. And I appreciate that, I really do.
“Again, that was never my point, to try and feel the love or have people to come out and tell you how much they respect you or the job that you do. But I would hope and I would expect people to appreciate sometimes.
“You don’t just keep kicking the can down the road till we see whether things get much, much worse and to see whether it has a greater impact on the people that you have to go home to every single day.”
‘You don’t want to overstay your welcome’
Kettlewell admitted it was disappointing to curtail his managerial reign at Motherwell but still believes he made the right call.
“I kind of got to a stage and I kind of get to a point where you feel that you don’t want to overstay your welcome,” he said.
“Now, that might not be the feeling of everybody, but categorically – I look at the task that was set in hand for me through a couple of different chief executives, couple of different chairmen, a couple of different executive boards – and I feel that we met and by far surpassed every one of those goals that were set in front of us.
“I suppose in order of justice, in order of fairness, that’s something that kind of sits in my head. I don’t want to be someone that just feels like they’re clinging on to a job just so that I can tell people that I’m a football manager and I work with the top level in this country.
“I believe in the work that I do. I believe in the work that my staff and the players have done throughout that period of time.
“As I say, it almost becomes that one where it may have to get handed over to someone else. There may be a question of whether that’s the cycle of football management.
“I think I might have been the third longest [serving] manager in the top flight. I would have liked it to be longer. I always feel that I’m a long-term thinker, but there is a number of factors in there.
“Sitting here three weeks down the line, I still feel that I made the correct decision. It is quite rare we see a manager walk away from a job, choose to leave, talking about abuse received and the impact that has on the family.”
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